Tasliat qalbe saburam (part l)

dlet ro nagu shkastam nagu k khyli pastam, nagu gonahe man bud akhe dl b ki bastam? chshmam 2roq nmigan bBn ru gunehamo, chshaye khi3 asheq migan rasto 2ruqo, ahay to k tanham gozashT qam 2 in dlam to kashT, mano ba qam ja gozashT b khoda dusam nadashT, nagu azam dl boriD nagu khyli paliD, nagu gonahe man bud akhe azam chi DD? har lahze b yadet un ngahet k miOftam, to k gofT dg tamume zndegy ba to harume . . .
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bavaram nmishe dastat 2ye daste man nabashan, ru daro Dvare khune garde tanhaE bpashan, to hamuni k migofT 2 2nya hishki msle man pyda nmishe, to hamuni k migofT qalbam male to bashe va3 hamishe, bavaram nmishe chshmat bre male Dgarun sh, ba qaribe ashena sh ba qaribe mhrabun sh . . .
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miram az yadet amma bdun b khoda man yari nadaram, tanha y gushe man dg nayi nadaram bmun knaram, goftam nmi2nam B to bmunam, nveshtam joz to az ki bkhunam, eshqe mano to bavar nakarD, fahmidam dg ba man sarD, arum arum dle man khaste nshasht, arum arum dle man az eshq shkast, arum arum sokute mobhame dle man hamrahe boqzam shkast... sade gozashT hanuzam bavaresh baram khoda mahale, raftane un Ngar vasam y jur khiale . . .
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hamishe rush nmishod in asheqe khjalaT, hamash az poshte shishe miDd toro yavashaki, lahzeha ro mishemord ta k 2bare rad bshi, rad bshy ba in ngahet dlo asun bokoshy, Ntezar mikeshidam 3daye pato bshnavam, montazer budam biayO axeto bazam bkesham, dasto pamo gom mikardam band miUmad zabunam, har vaqt k mikhastam bgam toE vojude man: y ruzi jor'at dadam b in dlam, biamo bhet bgam du3t daram, amma ta umadam poshte panjere, dastato Ddam 2ye daste Dge, chshm Ntezary bas3 dg Bqarari fahmidam bas3 dg... az khoda khastam kharab sh a3munam, ta azin 2nya bram dl bkkanam, akhe uni k mano tanha gozasht qadre in eshqo 2 in 2nya nadasht, A khoda un mano poshte sar gozasht eshqe shisheEm are fayde nadasht . . . :(
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89/10/18 (salgardemun)